"Do you believe ignorance is bliss?" I asked Jack, later, as we were driving home.
After a moment he replied, "I don't know. I think ignorance is hard work.
A hard state to maintain. By the time you realize you've been ignorant
about something, then you're aware of it, so then you aren't ignorant anymore.
Then you're just ignoring."
Once upon a time — many years ago —I appeared to be living the life of my dreams. Then, circumstances arose to test the most intimate foundations upon which I’d built my world. I was forced to admit that my tightly held image of a perfect life was hiding a deep sense of shame and self-hatred. I was the part of the picture that was out of place. I faced a choice: hold on to my perceived dream and lose everything, or, surrender the dream — and my tightly-held beliefs — and embark on an adventure to transform my heart.
An Amber Heart is the tale of my adventure; a memoir wrapped within the magical folds of mythic storytelling. It illustrates my journey as an unlikely, often reluctant, heroine, who’s quest is to discover life in the present with the hope of finding unconditional love.
What I encounter as I navigate through the labyrinths of society, religion, relationships, old trauma, past associations, and preconditioned beliefs, reveals a surprising paradox. The challenge isn’t in simply remembering the stories of my past that inform who I am today, but, rather, once identified, can I let my stories go?
At this extraordinary moment in history, the world is focused on change. Yet, within an unprecedented atmosphere of hope and despair, more than ever before, many people are overwhelmed by the demands of daily existence, the pain of the past, and the fear of an uncertain future. For many, change seems impossible, or, at the very least, a supreme challenge. Perhaps this describes your experience. You want to open your heart, but you struggle with frustration, mistrust and terror. An Amber Heart is written for you. It chronicles my journey as a young woman who faces personal challenges and dire circumstances while lighting upon the revolutionary power of a heart that aspires to break free and simply love.
And it all begins in an antique shop, when I happen to find an amber heart . . .